Perceived and Posted by Jerry Schwartz
Selling residential roofing and siding door to door was one of my first paying summer jobs while in college. The work was hard, clearly frustrating and demoralizing but paid well. . . if I made a sale. It was career and character-building, too.
I truly believe that much of my success today is due to skills honed and pain endured trying to persuade housewives to redo their homes in hopes that they would convince their husbands when they came home in the evening for dinner.
An incident one hot afternoon stood out so much, of many incidents, that I have laughingly retold the story many times over the years. It was part of my “schtick.”
Recently, I stopped laughing and began to see another side to the story.
I remember knocking on the door of a neat little house in a classic 1960s suburban working class neighborhood. You've seen it in a thousand movies and TV shows.
A little boy, not older than eight and not taller than four feet, answered the doorbell. "Hi, is your mom home?" I asked. It was the 60s and people were less fearful and cynical back then.
The kid then turned and yelled, "Hey, ma, there's a man at the door."
A man at the door? I immediately turned around to see if someone was behind me. There wasn't. He was referring to me. I was about 18 at that point and hadn't started to view myself as a man regardless of what the rabbi said five years before at my Bar Mitzvah.
Fast forward to the present.
After 28 years of running my own PR agency, promoting goods and services, ideas and ideals, and selling new business with the ardor of an 18-year-old signing an order for aluminum siding, that man reappeared at the door. And he was much older. Suddenly, I was no longer the youngest kid in my classroom, the last of my friends to get his driver’s license, and the first in the front row of every photograph. Now, I am the oldest. Everyone working for me is younger. I am the gray hair everyone said you had to have in the room. There is less hair, too, from years of pulling it out. I am the “gray beard,” though clean shaven.
Are there advantages to being the wise old sage, permanently black-and-blue from years of kicking myself for doing dumb things? Yes, I also burned my fingers two or three times before learning that the flame was hot, but I am a better person for it, tempered by pain and experience. It’s no accident that Star Wars’ Yoda looks the way he does, from centuries of pontificating. Besides, a wise young sage sounds like an oxymoron.
A study I read, too long ago to remember by whom, reported that entrepreneurs are less likely to dye their gray hair. Is this because entrepreneurs:
- Are more self-confident, with strong sense of being?
- Don’t worry about losing promotions to younger executives?
- Desire the solicitous courting that comes with grey hair?
- Like the contrast with navy blue suits
Probably, it is a bit of all four reasons. Then, again, grey is the new blond and the person I see in the mirror each morning is different. . . in a good vain way. Certainly, my 5 o’clock shadow now comes out at 6 o’clock. Occasionally, someone offers me a seat on the subway, or I get senior admission to movies without asking. But the greatest change was the biggest surprise because it was unexpected, unexpected so soon, anyway, and unexpected because I found myself graciously accepting.
A new business prospect actually said, “Tell Jerry to speak less.” It’s not that I was talking too much; it was because they knew well that I wasn’t going to work on their business. They truly wanted to hear from those on the next rung down.
“We like Jerry and he sets an image and a pace we want,” they explained. “He clearly has the experience and we value his opinions and creativity.” They were right. Next time we met, I did defer to the others. We got the business. We beat out the competition, serious competition, and I was content to stay in the background. I shook my head a lot, fidgeted with my pen and smiled knowingly.
Since then, since that seminal event, I’ve worked hard to restrain myself in presentations. Harder still is convincing my wonderful younger partners that it’s okay for them to take charge and run a new business meeting, even if the lead came from one of my relationships. Not unexpected, I found that if you give somebody the opportunity, they will rise to the occasion. In fact, fears of succession have rapidly faded away, along with my tap dancing skills. They have been replaced by pride.
Grief therapists will talk about a delusion called the “concept of the self” as a reason why some people fear death. They are referring to an inability to accept that the people around you, your loved ones, will be able to get along without you. I love the people at G.S. Schwartz & Co. They are great. I am learning rapidly that the business will continue to grow long after I retire to the golf course (I honestly don’t play, but I could learn) or some mountain top (I do ski).
That said, I am not retiring that fast. After 30 years of selling and servicing, I still have a lot to contribute. Besides, what else would I do? Where would I go every day? I guess I could always sell roofing and siding. I’m pretty good at it. I’m not a bad publicist, either. I like what I do.